I'll Talk To You Tomorrow
by autumnconfusion
Summary: A promise that's been broken can hurt more than it looks at first sight. A Tom Fletcher story.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own McFly.  
**A/N:** And old story written by me. Decided to post it on for a change. Hope you'll like it. Read and let me know what you think of it! Thanks xxx

**~ I'll Talk To You Tomorrow ~**

"I'll talk to you tomorrow,"

A nice example of a very simple sentence. The simplicity is shocking and yet to me it means my world. My world spins around those few words, spinning around amazingly fast until it abruptly stops as the next day starts and I impatiently wait for that simple sentence, the promise, to happen. And I wait more and with each minute fading into the coldness that I call time, I slowly start realising that this is another day when a promise has been broken again.

I attach great importance to a promise as for I know how extremely painful it can be when they are being broken. The disappointment, the hurt that slowly fills up my heart when I realise that I'm not that important as I originally thought, is extremely excruciating. It makes me feel like I'm worthless to this world, that no matter what I try, I'll just be a toy – ready to be used and abused.

If you don't understand what I'm talking about then I don't judge you because you have to go through this to get it. You have to understand that it isn't something that happens from one day to the other, no. It happens steadily. I didn't realise until it was too late and now when it's too late, I don't see any way back. I'm too much attached to what my life is now and I wouldn't give it up for all the money in the world. Contradictory to what I feel but then again, feelings – emotions – have never been easy, never been simple but always confusing and hardly understood.

It all started when I was just a normal teenager with a fascination for music. I had a dream and I chased after it. I wasn't accepted into the band that I wanted to be a part of and it was one of the many disappointments that I had to endure again until I met the first best friend of three. I started talking to him, we shared interests and within the next few months we became friends – great friends even. He knew me better than anyone else and his smile showed me that I should stop being self-conscious. I tried for him and it worked.

We took the big step together and before we realised we had our own band and we were number one in charts. A dream, my dream and theirs, became reality and I knew that I could fight the world with these three friends. I was on top of the world, they made me forget why I always believed that people didn't like me, they made me forget that I wasn't comfortable with the way I looked as they didn't care. They loved me for me and I received the boost that I needed.

They were the first ones, and the only ones, in my life who taught me that who I was, was more important than what I was. A heart of gold, a childish sense of humour, and a kid is what they called me but I didn't care. They were my world and I was theirs. Subconsciously, I started making them my world for real. I didn't care what others thought and I only wanted to spend time with them. And only them.

Whatever they said was perfect. They would come and look for me to get some advice and I'd gladly help and give it. They would come to me in the middle of the night when they got upset and I'd try and comfort them, showing my appreciation and my love for them. They really were my world and they still are my world.

They have changed me but at the same time I can feel they're destroying me. With every day that I share with them, I fall in love with them. My heart bleeds when they cry, my heart aches when they're upset and I'm sick when they're ill. That's how much they mean to me. That's what I mean with they're my world. I can only breathe properly when I talk to them, when I share moments, when we relax and be ourselves, just ourselves and no one else.

And then we broke apart and I became more dependent on them. Suddenly, everything changed and in a matter of a few blinks their interests diverted to another direction. Partying was something they started loving while I wanted to stay home and just sit on the couch and watch films. I would feel bitter every time, hurt that they didn't stay to keep me company and disappointed that they didn't see that I needed them.

Every time, I would forgive them the moment I saw them again, knowing that they still loved me but today, I can't forget how much this has started deciding my life.

I feel anger every time that I smile and nod, believing their promises when at the same time, I hear the voice inside my head warning me that it might be a lie, that they won't talk to me and then I feel anger towards myself for being so demanding, for being so pathetic and for being me. They are my everything but when I'm home alone and they are having fun – not even thinking about me - they're my worst nightmare.

Alone, in the shadows of my room, questions are pouring into my head and tears are falling down my cheeks, leaving the pillow underneath my head damp. I'm angry for being this weak. Angry at the fact that I'm not in charge anymore and that my life exists out of only three people. I hate it that I only desire one thing: them to be here.

I hate it that I pretend that I don't mind when they're back, I hate it that they don't realise that only hours before, I cried my heart out, feeling as if I don't mean nothing at all. They don't miss me like I miss them, because if they would they would stay. They know that they're all I've got; they know that my life is theirs and I know that I need to change this. I know that I have to get up, stand tall and find my own path in life but I am scared.

Experience has taught me that not everyone is open for the real me, that not everyone can appreciate that I'm not the average man. I am scared and closed when I don't feel safe and comfortable so why would I give up the people where I feel good with? Why would I give up those I opened up to? Why would I give up on my best friends? I need them and every day I believe they need me too.

But they don't.

That I realise when the evening turns into the night and the tomorrow that was today has turned into yesterday and the promise turns into a lie. I try not to cry anymore. I try to stay strong but the soft hollow sound of the rain against my window, the cold and silence house and the empty room remind me that I can't stay strong and that I can't try to not cry that I have to let it go, that I have to show my empty world that I am lost, hurt and powerless to this.

I wish at moments like these that I could get up from my bed, take my bags and leave to never come back. I wish that I could give them a promise and break it time after time like they do that to me. I wish I could say that I was just as loved with other people that I could have a night out with them without telling my friends. I wish that I had my own life.

Falling asleep with the tears sticking to my eyelashes, I don't hear them coming back. I'm fighting against the demons of questions in my nightmare. I don't feel his hand on my flushed cheek to check if I'm alright. Shaking uncontrollably as a cold hand is holding my heart, turning everything that I once believed in into a lie, I don't feel how the blankets are being tucked around my body and by the time I wake up in the morning, the caring that I received during the night is left unspoken as I don't know that it happened.

I smile at their faces and all the hatred, hurt and disappointment are forgotten as my heart fills up with love again. They're perfect and they're my friends. They're amazing until the next:

"I'll talk to you tomorrow."


End file.
